If we’re gonna talk about animals evolving to do things they weren’t meant to we’ve gotta talk about Thylacoleo

sixth-extinction:

brontozaurus:

Thylacoleo, for the uninitiated, was Australia’s equivalent of the sabre-tooth cat. It was the size of a leopard, murdered rhino-sized marsupials with sharp teeth and huge claws, and looked like this:

Its closest living relative is this:

Yes, the most vicious mammalian carnivore Australia has ever produced is most closely related to a herbivorous furry cube.

What the fuck.

It’s obvious when you check out Thylacoleo’s teeth. Most mammalian carnivores have a similar setup: incisors, canines, premolars and molars. Dogs have it, cats have it, we have it. Thylacoleo’s teeth look like this:

You’ve got pincer-like incisors in the front, giant sharp-edged molars in the back, and no canines to speak of. 

That last bit’s the important part. Canines are most useful for holding meat, so herbivores tend to shrink them down to nothing. Thylacoleo’s lack of proper canines show its ancestors were originally herbivores. But because you can’t just re-evolve features once they’re gone, it had to make do with what it had. Hence those ridiculous fucking teeth, which were nevertheless perfect for grabbing and chopping meat just like every other carnivore’s teeth do.

tl;dr: at some point in time a bunch of vegans decided to weaponise their limitations to kill everything and by god did they do it

I love thylacoleo’s bizarre dentition.

mariesbookblog:

faded-mind:

theangelshavethetimeturner:

invite-me-to-your-memories:

i understand the historical reasons why English is the most common language

but if I was writing a speculative fiction novel

and I said “the language that most people learn as a second language, usually for professional reasons, is also the only one with a spelling system so terrible that spelling words correctly is a broadcasted competition”

you’d be like “extremely unrealistic 0/10”

i never thought of this, do other languages not have spelling bees?

#no we don’t

What

mysiepereira:

Quill knows what he’s doing.

lesbianfemmefatale:

Ok normally I hate the edgy “what if everyone in this children’s show was actually DEAD and in the AFTERLIFE” type thing but. Total drama island is DEFINITELY set in Hell

pinkprincessrei:

Every princess: I have the following reasons to believe that joining your Alliance is a bad idea strategically

She-Ra: ok but have you considered the fact that I’m big

Every princess: understandable where do I sign

thicctimus-prime:

thicctimus-prime:

thicctimus-prime:

thicctimus-prime:

just want a Transformers show where the humans they become friends with are millennials and gen z kids with those generations senses of humor and it makes even the Decepticons worried for them

Human companion: *sees a dead squirrel on the ground* God I wish that were me

Megatron, stopping in the middle of battle and pulling Optimus Prime aside: Hey is your pet ok?

Human companion: *fortnite dances*

Bumblebee: *shurgs and joins in*

Soundwave: what the fuck?

Starscream: Disgusting flesh creature you will-

Human companion: I anm just….a litle creacher….thatse it. I canot change this.

Starscream: ………What?

godzillasflyingpizza:

why-bless-your-heart:

why-bless-your-heart:

Personally I always felt like Hobbits age at roughly the same rate as exceptionally healthy humans and that the reason they don’t come of legal age until 33 is because have you met people in their 20s because Tolkien did

Funny: Pippin is an idiot because he’s not an adult yet.

Funnier: Pippin is an idiot because he’s 28.

jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien, an actual college professor: none of you are fucking valid

me, a 29-and-a-half year old: i mean, but is he wrong

skinnykookies:

bpdgoner:

me: wow i actually don’t feel so bad maybe i’m getting better!

me 2 minutes later:

Why is this so funny